This presentation will give you guaranteed strategies for instantly building the self esteem in your child.

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Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton

Do you ever suffer from low self esteem? The Oxford English Dictionary defines “self esteem” as confidence in you own worth or abilities. So let me ask the same question a different way – do you ever doubt yourself or question your abilities? Because, if you do ever question your own value or capabilities, who is questioning whom? Who is doubting your self worth? And who or what is the self? Are you somehow a split personality?

Let’s get something straight right here, right now. No one can suffer from low self esteem – they can only imagine that they’re suffering. The concept of self esteem is a figment of the imagination of your personality. And, as we’re about to explore, personality – coming from the Latin word persona, meaning a mask – is a figment of the imagination too. In other words, if you think you’re suffering from low self esteem, you’re only imagining it. It might feel real, it might get you down, even depress you or stress you out, but, in fact, the whole concept of self esteem is a trick of the so-called “normal” mind. And, just because research indicates that at least 96% of us are “normal”, that’s no excuse for going along with a crazy idea life “low self esteem” – after all, the same research proves that the normal people is mad – their mind controls them, not the other way around.

And that is how “low self esteem” is created – it is created by the mad normal mind.

Let’s deal with your personality first. As I’ve already said, your personality is a mask. When you were young and impressionable, key events stuck in your mind. In other words, some childhood events were captivating enough for them to impress your subconscious mind. These “snapshots”, as psychologists call them, created your impression of yourself, way back then. But they stuck in your mind to the extent that nowadays, possibly decades later, they’re still alive and well in your subconscious, continually giving you an impression of yourself that’s way out of date. Add all those childhood impressions together and you’ve got your personality.

To put it really plainly, your personality is the sum total of all the things that were done to you and for you that made a big enough impression on you during your formative years. As a result, your personality could not be real! It is not even a figment of your own normal imagination, it is a mish-mash of the figments of lots of other people’s normal imaginations – your parents, your teachers, your friends. And it is this non-existent collection of skeletons in the cupboard that has the audacity to question your self worth and your capabilities. Wow. How bizarre is that? There’s a ghost in your machine and you’ve never even realised it. As I said to someone on Sunday, your personality is a stone in your shoe that you’ve got so used to that you don’t even realise that you’re limping through life. And limping you are because, with the very best will in the world, your personality falls way short of the person you can really be. And, so, we’re back to you doubting who you can really be – that’s what low self esteem is about.

So, how about building your self esteem? After all, not only is it a question that I’m asked frequently, but there are hundreds of thousands of people Googling it every month! You don’t need to build your self esteem, because self esteem doesn’t exist – except in the illusory world of the personality, which itself is an illusion.

You need to go beyond your personality – a wonderful journey that will take you beyond the concept of self esteem, to a place where you will realise the nature of the real you. This is not some new-age crap that I’m peddling. These are facts based in psychology. What’s more, if you let yourself off the leash that your personality has had you on for all of your adult life, you will free up your innate energy – and quantum physics proves conclusively that the energy of the universe is responsive to your very own energy.

The research I mentioned earlier – about normal people being mad – indicates that normal people only put about 1% of their energy into their lives. Their personality effectively blocks their energy. That’s why normal people’s lives are “not too bad” – that’s why nothing amazing ever happens normal people. That’s why normal people question their self worth and their abilities – that’s why normal people think that they need to build self esteem.

You need to be abnormal – you need to sidestep your personality, just ignore it (it will eventually go away!!). You do that by developing your natural ability to invest more than 1% of your energy in the present moment, by paying attention, using all of your five senses, to the here and now. Nothing could be simpler and nothing could be more liberating. Believe me, it will lead you to a new understanding of who you really are and of what you’re really capable.

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Having low self-esteem isn’t just an annoyance…it can actually ruin lives.

Think about it this way: low self-esteem can cause you to miss out on the life that you’re meant to live. Low self-esteem can prevent you from chatting up that beautiful girl at the bar…it can stop you from gunning after that promotion at work…it can even stop you from losing weight or taking up new hobbies, simply because you just don’t believe that you’re worth it.

Self-esteem is often defined as having a positive attitude about yourself and the role that you play in the world around you. People with high self-esteem also have a strong sense of their abilities, feel in control of their lives and believe that they are capable of achieving their dreams. Considering all the positive benefits of having high self-esteem, it’s unfortunate that having low self-esteem seems to be such a common affliction these days. Between our busy lifestyles and constant pressure to perform well in our careers and within our social circles, it’s no wonder that many of us can be consumed by worry about how we look, speak and act in public.

Have you ever clammed up in the middle of a board meeting, even though you knew that your comment or idea could very well be the best thing to happen to your company since the invention of the Internet? Have you ever found yourself looking down while walking through the busy streets, thinking to yourself: “Don’t trip, because everyone will look and laugh at you?” And, on a more serious note, have you ever had one too many drinks simply to feel more confident about the way you look and feel?

Yes, having low self-esteem can prevent you from leading the life that you were meant to live – a life that’s stuffed to the brim with social freedom, worry-free thoughts and confident interactions with the people in your life. If you’re petrified of what people think of you, then it’s time to grab your destiny with your own hands and learn how to build self-esteem.

And I’m not talking about merely learning how to build self-esteem – I’m talking about skyrocketing your feelings of confidence, assurance and freedom right through the atmosphere!

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. Before you can learn how to build self-esteem, you need to start laying the foundations for your newfound sense of social freedom by recognizing that everyone feels bad about themselves once in awhile. Therefore, stop being your own worst critic, because no one else is thinking about you as harshly as you are! Let’s look at that example of walking down the street: notice how you’re so focused on you? Guess what: everyone else is focused on themselves too. Once you recognize that people are more focused on themselves than any “mistakes” or “flaws” that you may have, you’ll take that important step in learning how to build self-esteem.

FIND THINGS THAT YOU’RE GOOD AT. Everyone has a talent that they’re good at – and no protesting here, because you’re certainly good at something! Whether you can write a beautiful poem or make an invaluable member of your office team, it’s important to recognize and encourage your talents to grow. In fact, recruit a friend and have him/her tell you exactly what makes you special. Do you have a great singing voice? Are you a caring person who gives out great advice? Try signing up with a community choir, or volunteer at a local shelter, where your talents will be recognized, appreciated and deemed as extremely valuable.

GET OUTSIDE OF YOUR HEAD. Experts agree that people with low self-esteem are too inwardly focused. However, instead of being introspective, people with low self-esteem merely focus on their own faults and flaws. Guess what: if you want to learn how to build self-esteem, it’s time to get outside of your head! Volunteering represents a great opportunity to not only build a set of skills, but to build the kind of self-confidence that makes you feel in control of your life. As a volunteer, you’ll represent an invaluable member of a community – and health experts agree that high self-esteem begins with feeling like a valued member of a community, be it with your family, friends or coworkers.

Looking for ways to build self-esteem? Or ever question how powerful is self esteem to social or other forms of success in life?

How would you like to find someone who shares your interests, passions, beliefs, ideas, and opinions? Someone who accepts you and respects you for whom you are? Definitely building your self-esteem will much easier with the tremendous support you have from them!

When you’re single, it can be hard to envision a human being out there with whom you can make a true connection. When you have been through relationship after relationship, with no success and even heartbreak in the mix, building up your self-esteem will plunge and finding love can become an unbelievable notion and an impossible feat.

When you talk about how to build self-esteem, whether you are a seasoned pro in the world of dating, a green newbie looking to take your first steps, or a recent single looking to make a fresh start, there’s always that one lingering question on your mind when approaching new love, “What if the man/woman doesn’t like me?”

Truthfully, that question hangs on the mind of every single in America, so it’s safe to say you are not alone. However, that discouraging mindset could keep you from meeting the perfect person right under your nose if you don’t build up your self esteem with effective ways as soon as possible!

The key to overcoming this mindset is to know the right ways to build your self-esteem and confidence, not just for the purpose of finding a mate, but also for the purpose of inner peace and happiness. Self-esteem is crucial to a person’s outlook on life, self-image, and self-worth. How can one love another without loving the reflection in the mirror?

Tip No: 1

Building up self-esteem can seem like a hard task, but it’s actually quite simple. The first step is realizing that you are worth it. What is it you are worthy of, you may ask. Everything! You are worthy of everything that is good and enjoyable in this world.

Tip No: 2

Next recommendation is to figure out what you truly want and convince yourself that it’s attainable. Singles, if you want a wonderful partner who shares your love of books, the beach, or partying till 2 in the morning, you can have that. You deserve that.

Tip No: 3

Besides the above ways to build self esteem tips, you can try open yourself up to those you really trust. Maybe you have a best friend who’s been there for you since grade school. Or maybe your mom is your best friend who gives you great advice. Go to that person and talk with him/her.

Tip No: 4

Lastly, reward yourself for every accomplishment by indulging in something you love. Chocolate cake? A good book? A weekend in Cape May? You decide. This will help to boost your build self-esteem effort!

Tip No: 5

These steps may seem ineffective in building self-esteem and confidence. But the simplest milestones in life can produce big results. Singles who work on increasing their self-esteem are much more likely to find love and sustain that love over a long period of time.

They know they deserve love. They know they are worth it. Take the initiative to complete these milestones on the road to using great ways to build self-esteem and I promise you a better social life and a better shot at true love. Gradually, you will gain a more positive outlook, a more enjoyable life, and an increase in the happiness you undoubtedly deserve.